Clean But Unclear
by Miss Meggie
Summary: Jemma's heart was in the right place but now she can never escape the consequences of her choices. Grant put her there and they both know it how will he ever make it right?


This happens in the same verse as tangled in the strings it's not a must to read that to understand this though it could help.-MM

Clean but Unclear

If Jemma can read his bruised ribs, tired eyes, and blood beneath his nails to gauge how shitty his day has been. He can read her just as well the quirk between her sharply expressive brows means she's been stuck on something for days. When tightness pulls at her mouth marring her smile he knows she's had row with Fitz. When her hands shake as they trail his body he knows he's been gone too long.

None of those things are happening now, but still something is amiss.

At first when he steps into the living room he thinks the house is empty.

It's not though there's a cup of tea gone stone cold on the end table next to the worn red couch where Jemma had abandoned her copy of "The Color Purple." In favor of something else.

It's quiet; Jemma's not quiet at all. The TV or radio is always on as if silently scientific Jemma lives only within the confines of her lab.

"Yo, Baby I'm home." He yells and chunks his gear bag on his recliner. Dust plumes off it when it lands. (Fuck he loathes sand.) "Jemma?" He calls out. Then he hears the bath tub faucet squeak on…one beat, two, and three. It squeaks off.

That's odd Jemma never bathes in the middle of the day. She prefers early mornings or late nights to clear her mind.

He walks to the bathroom and stands in the doorway. He looks her over all the bubbles have lost their vigor. She's lying pretty much exposed in the water. He should feel like a creep but "Naked Jemma" is one of his very favorite things and he hasn't been home for almost two months now. With Hydra exposed they'd had to scatter.

She's ducked down into the water the ends of her hair float in the water, "You going to join in love? Or just peep on me? I'm fine with either, just don't expect a show. I'm too tired." And that's the thing that has Grant worried. She looks tired.

He strips out of his shirt. She doesn't bother looking over but does scoot down in the purposefully huge claw foot tub to make room for him when she hears the clink of his belt hitting the tile as he drops trough.

When he sinks himself into the lukewarm water his heart hammers heavily in his chest…he prefers showers small bodies of water remind him of…Tommy. Her bare back touching his chest pulls him from his dark reverie. She's looking up at him with those big "Are you ok? I didn't mean to press that button." Eyes and he remembers this is not about him. Something is off with his girl, he's gotta fix it.

He massages her shoulders until her muscles are loosened to Gumby like status and he's lulled her enough to be honest. Just because Jem's a shitty liar it doesn't mean she is incapable. She can lie well if she thinks the truth can hurt him.

"So…" he asks as she flicks on the hot water with her toes. He's momentarily struck stupid by movement of her long legs.

"So What?" She asks as warmth invades them.

"Why are you being quiet Jem? You never are, you knew this was going to hit my radar." He glides his hands down her back and around her side. One hand plants itself on the lower part of her ribcage so he can stroke his thumb along the soft skin on the underside of her breast. The other hand anchors her hip.

She shrugs and her damp hair tickles his nose. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd be home so soon."

"Fair but not enough…"He hedged.

She addresses the faucet knobs firmly, all business. "John died, we did all that and he still died! I betrayed Fitz and for what? To leave the science I should have handled to Raina? Do you think for one second that if the pair of us had stayed on his team that he'd of employed the Incentives Program? We let him shoot Skye! I joined this mission out of love for you and need to help the person you loved! I failed Grant. I failed, I don't fail!" As she finished her rant the nails of her left hand dig into his thigh the glittering diamond on her ring finger distorted with the shifting waters.

He reaches down to gently remove her grip. "You didn't fail baby, you figured it out, and you saved Skye and John that's not nothing. You had no way of knowing the alien sample in the serum would make him nuts! You know who that's on? That's on Fury for not disclosing Coulson's health fully to his team mates or the SHIELD Organization. All so his fucking avengers don't revolt on him! That's blood on his hands, not yours Jemma." He says intently hoping his words and reasoning penetrate the fog of self-loathing she's wrapped in.

She's having a crisis of conscience. Jemma had never wanted to hurt anyone in the name of John's cure but desperation had bent the resolve of all parties involved. He knows this day was coming but Grant was selfish, He could admit that he'd wanted her at all costs, he'd wanted Jemma. Life owed him Jemma at the very least.

It didn't owe him her purity twisted up to resemble his demons though and that was a regret he'd die with.

She scoots and disentangles herself from him so that she is facing him in an almost rolled over position. The agility in the motion surprises him.

She shakes her head for moment before he can catch her face in his hands. There are tears in her eyes. She whispers. "You'll have to excuse my guilt, I know it helps nothing but Garrett made Peterson and countless others in his likeness and now we've no map and no resources to help them when there systems fail. I should have stayed behind and let you infiltrate the team; I should have reigned in John's selfishness. I knew better, I just wanted to do one mission at your side." She finishes her broken tirade on a heavy sigh.

"Baby…everything thing you did was rooted and motivated mostly in good things, mistakes happen, bad timing, greed, guilt, they may not be pretty but they're human."

"You're saying that because you love me and feel guilty for turning me." She rolled her eyes.

"I say that because you're the only person I have ever known whose light never dims." He presses his lips to her forehead in a prolonged kiss. "You're my humanity." He murmurs into her skin that smelled of wildflowers.

He was speaking the truth she was the only goodness in his world and he was going to stop twisting it up and pull it toward the light but first he had to figure out how.

In his musings she'd backed away to drop a kiss on his mouth. "Let's get out before we prune my love."

I own nothing. The story title is a line from Nick Mulvaney's fever to the form.


End file.
